Light Beyond the Dark
by Cache
Summary: Beckette memorial. S2


Spoilers: Up to and including 'Redemption'  
  
Author notes, etc.: I know, Beckette doesn't have an 'e' on the end. But, I've always spelled it that way, and I haven't had much luck changing my habit.   
  
I wrote this short piece upset at the way Beckette's death has been handled on the show. As one of the series' stronger characters, she deserves more credit than she was given. I really haven't done her justice; or Deedee, or Sandoval...  
  
A note on the song excerpt at the end. It is taken from 'Message from Walter' which is written and performed by Carol Elliot. It is copyrighted by Loupgarou Publishing, BMI 1996.   
  
*******************  
  
Sandoval walked slowly to the front of the deserted church. Only a couple hours ago it had been filled with those mourning the loss of Siobhan Beckette-family, friends, colleagues... Reaching the steps to the alter, he sat down, closing his eyes and listening to the silence around him.   
  
Life is so very fleeting. It seemed impossible that she could be gone; her spirit and determination, her temerity, lost forever. So very fleeting...almost trivial. One never knows when it might end, when all they had worked for would be lost. And those that were left...   
  
Why had he turned her down-kept his distance from her? Now...now there was no hope, no chance of ever getting to know her better. She'd seen through him, through his lies to his hidden side. She saw him for what he was-a human-and she did not blame him-the only one to do so since Deedee. Yet he'd pushed her away, refused to let her see he was any more than the perfect implant, and then she was gone...   
  
What else could he have done? To give in to his feelings would be a sign of weakness undesirable in an implant. And to be so closely associated with a colleague...it could only complicate matters. But then why did it hurt so much to lose her? She had been nothing to him... Sandoval sighed. No, he had loved her. He knew that now. And perhaps he had known that then, but had refused to admit it. It had recently become strikingly clear that there was much he refused to admit-not only to the others, but to himself. So many secrets...and they had cost him so much...   
  
Deedee...she too was gone. And how he had betrayed her. Betrayed her in life; did he now do the same in her death? He opened his eyes and glanced to the wedding band he wore, fingering it gingerly. No. Deedee would have wished him to be happy. Besides, he was not ready to give up her memory, his relationship with Beckette would have been different. He would never let anyone get that close again, not after what he had done to Deedee... Now he really was alone-the only two who had cared for him were lost forever.   
  
He reached into his pocket and brought out a velvet pouch, opening it and taking out one of the runes that were inside. He studied it, carefully turning it over in his hand. Sowolu. The Sun. Giver of all life. When he'd returned to his office after failing to find Beckette in time, they had been sitting on his desk. Almost as if she had known...   
  
Sandoval placed the other runes back in his pocket and stood. Slowly, he approached the alter. Lighting two candles, he placed the rune between them. "For you both," he whispered. "Help me to find life through your death, that I may pass on the blessings you have given me..."   
  
***  
  
I got a phone call, I smoked a cigarette  
I paced the floor and prayed for your soul to be blessed.  
I sat down and cried to think that you had died  
While in the corner of my eye a light was flickering,  
Touched by an unseen hand the light kept flickering...   
  
And I think it was you saying...   
  
Hey, hey, it's gonna be okay  
You're gonna be fine, fine with a little time  
I'm gonna blink this light to show you I'm alright  
As far as I can see there'll never be a boundary  
Between your heart and mine.   
  
As far as I can see there is no boundary  
Between your heart and mine.   
  
***  
  
--Fin--  
4-1-99  
  



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